ThePlaneFlu

SJS Press June 2010

Summer is thought to be a time of sunny skies and carefree beach living. Airline pilots however, know that it is also a time to be on the defensive. They know that summer marks the start of the Plane Flu season. The Plane Flu is thought by some to result in SJS; Shiny Jet Syndrome.

A group of doctors is attempting to prove that the Plane Flu virus, s1js1, is the virus that causes Shiny Jet Syndrome. Dr. Essjay Synda, Aviation Medical Examiner and airline enthusiast, backs this claim. "I have observed this virus under a powerful electron microscope. It is an airplane shaped virus that easliy attaches itself to healthy human cells. It can then incubate in the body undetected for years."

SJSchildDr. Synda continues "This virus can be very contagious. Children are especially susceptible. They may be infected only to see the syptoms of SJS surface later in life. Ever wonder why pilots say they can remember wanting to be a pilot ever since they were a little kid? Parents need to take notice if their children have an unusual draw to airports and airplanes. They need to stay on top of the syndrome all the way through their child's pilot training. If levels of the Plane Flu virus are uncontrolled, a pilot may end up with full blown SJS."

SJSvictimShiny Jet Syndrome is not without signs and symptoms. Depending on the severity, a number of things may occur. A victim's hair may become overwhelmingly spiky. The pilot may be willing to do anything to fly an airliner. He may even begin to pilot airliners free of charge. Although this is one symptom enjoyed by airline managements everywhere, it is not one for a pilot to ignore. If it gets too out of control, he may even cross his fellow pilot during strikes and become a scab worker. This was evident throughout the 80's. Pilots at Continental, United, and Eastern Airlines were so overcome by SJS, that they committed the ultimate atrocity of walking over the picket line to fly their shiny jets.

SJSsymptomsPilots concerned about the potential dangers of SJS have often wondered where it came from and when it began. The origin of Shiny Jet Syndrome, while somewhat controversial, is also desired amongst the scientific and medical communities. One camp says that SJS is strictly a mental condition. The others, including Dr. Synda with his s1js1 virus theory, feel that it is biological. Whether mental, biological, or a combination of both, SJS has been resilient. After being suppressed at the end of the 80's, it resurfaced in the late 90's, and became an epidemic by the end of this past decade.

The spread of SJS has been put in check as of late by most airline managements. Perhaps they didn't want too much of 'a good thing'. One regional airline CEO states "We really don't want any more pilots with SJS at this time. So we have fought fire with fire. We had made our pilots' lives miserable so they would move on quickly to a 'Major' airline. This kept our costs low. Once there were too many of these pilots, we made their lives miserable to deter anybody else from desiring the job. I think as an industry we have been successful in this endeavor. We have certainly curbed this most recent SJS outbreak."

Dr.SullyThe Press at shinyjetsyndrome.com encourages all pilots to remain aware of the signs of SJS. They should have themselves checked during their required FAA medical examinations and check themselves in the mirror before reporting for duty. Just know that this is the season for the Plane Flu and you can continue your career as an airline pilot without resorting to wage underbidding or heaven forbid strikebreaking to fly shiny jets.

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